What Kind of Woman Am I?

Don't waste your tears. Be strong. This is your life. Get up. These are the words that my grandmother said to me as I cried and cried from the pain that cut deep inside my heart. She lent me her strength, power, and courage when I had none left. A woman who birthed and raised …

Light Upon Light

A few mornings ago, I woke up feeling excited and full of energy. I could feel my body moving and swaying to the beat of my heart. I got ready for the day and tried to look my best, dressing in green and white. I left the house quickly to get to class early, walking …

Hijab Woes

Last year was the most difficult year of my life, and due to the stress of everything, my imaan - my faith - took a deep hit. I was in a tough place emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It became much harder for me to pray - and I woke up almost every single morning not …

Halfway Point

The past few months have been a roller coaster ride, to say the least. I think I came here to Istanbul with skyrocketing expectations of myself, which honestly isn’t surprising. I came searching for healing, and I expected myself to be healed almost immediately. And I received the biggest reality check when that didn’t happen. …

Heart on my Sleeve

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always considered it one of my worst qualities, because everything I feel and think is plastered and apparent right on my face. I just can't help it. My resting face? It's probably the worst you've ever seen. Most people think I hate them when they first meet …

Wisdom

Lately I’ve been thinking about the deeper meanings behind the tests I am put through by Allah ﷻ. We’re all tested in different ways, based on how much we can handle, what our capacity for pain is, and how strong our will to change can be. How trusting am I in the wisdom of Allah …

Heartworks

What does my heart look like? If you cut me open, what would you find? Does it have the bright color and shine of rubies, beating and sparkling with every breath that I take? Is it soft, fleshy, alive from the blood being pumped through it - in and out, in and out? Or is …

Breathe Again

I used to be dead. Sometimes I still think I am. Why? Because I lost hope in my Rabb. I gave up. I fell prey to despair. I would wake up and go throughout my day like any other seemingly normal human being. But in reality, I was a dead corpse walking around. No life, …

On Feminism and Female Islamic Scholarship

"How do we reconcile the imperfections of feminism with all the good it can do? In truth, feminism is flawed because it is a movement powered by people and people are inherently flawed." "For whatever reason, we hold feminism to an unreasonable standard where the movement must be everything we want and must always make …

Good Love

We always worry about people. What will they say? What will they think? Will they like me better if I do this? Will they not like me if I don’t do this? People who mind, don’t matter - and people who matter, don’t mind. No one should request - or even have the audacity to …